


Some Secrets Weren't Meant To Be Told (I Found The Cure To Growing Older)

by kaskaskia_dense



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, Gen, M/M, Poor Brendon, beatles appreciation clubs, cute hoodies, title is from fall out boy bc im fucking t r a s h, tyler n josh are v v cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9984569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaskaskia_dense/pseuds/kaskaskia_dense
Summary: In which Josh is the new kid who meets Tyler on the bus, and things go from there. Also, Brendon definitely has friends, Josh's parents aren't really that good, and everything is a bit messy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> HI. im really excited about this fic because ive been thinking abt it for a long time and i actually have a plot and stuff planned out???? whaaat???? and i really hope you like it because this is gonna be a wild fuking ride buckle in buckaroos yeehaw
> 
> i am so sorry wtf im just really nervous i hope u all like it

“Mom, do I really have to go on the bus?” Josh frowned into his cereal. After months of searching, he would be starting his first day in public school since he was seven. Ever since third grade, he’d only studied in private school, in some weird, Catholic, northern Ohio academy for boys. As much as he was glad to finally be surrounded by normal people, at least, people who weren’t all super-religious and white and better than him, Josh was still a bit wary.

“Yes, of course you do. I have to leave early for an important meeting today, remember? And Dad’s already left for work. Besides, don’t you want to make new friends as quickly as possible?” She gave Josh her best that-settles-it smile and tugged on her jacket. “Alright, I’m leaving. Tell the girls to get up soon. Bye!”

“I actually don’t know how to make new friends, but okay,” Josh mumbled, but she was already out the door. He was already nervous enough about school without her having to remind him he had to socialize.

Sure, he’d had friends in private school, but those were mainly friendships forced by his parents or friends of Jordan or his sisters’. Josh definitely wasn’t ready to be out on his own—his sisters were going to some nearby all-girls school, but there was no all-boys school nearby so he and Jordan were going to the public school. It was all really frustrating and made Josh want to curl up in a corner and watch YouTube.

After having a shouting match with Ashley and stealing the rest of Jordan’s breakfast muffin for himself, Josh shrugged on his backpack and tried his best to settle the butterflies in his stomach. They weren’t really butterflies as much as they were screaming, ravenous black demons trying to destroy all notions of happiness, but Josh really didn’t want tell anyone this because it would mean his anxiety was back and he _really_ didn’t want to talk to anyone about that yet.

The bus was a minute and a thirty-two seconds late—Josh was keeping track—and as soon as it pulled up to the stop by the curb, his insides started to curl and he briefly thought about running off to somewhere where people didn’t make fun of him for dyeing his hair or laugh at him for getting a C on last year’s algebra final.

But he just kept his head down, wished he had a hoodie to pull over his somewhat regrettable highlighter-yellow hair even though it was incredibly hot out, and got onto the bus, step by step. He eyed the matted, green leather seats with fear as he searched for an empty spot—everyone was a stranger who looked better than him and probably wouldn’t want to sit next to him—and nearly sighed with relief as he found an empty seat by the back.

The back of a bus is always the best, man. It’s harder for the driver to see you, no one gives a fuck if you open the window, and it’s right next to an emergency exit. What’s wrong with that?

Except, there was something wrong. There was someone already sitting in the back. Josh, in his stomach-curling excitement and general ravenous demon infestation, hadn’t seen them. Now he felt bad because he was already walking over there with a semi-confident smile on his face and was setting his backpack down and they would think he didn’t want to sit there anymore, which he didn’t because he didn’t want to upset anyone, but still he didn’t want to—

“You can sit here,” the guy said as he saw Josh begin to pull away. He had one of those military-style brown buzz cuts, except it looked kind of lopsided, and he was wearing a dirty mustard yellow hoodie with the sleeves rolled down. Josh was about to comment on how that was kind of strange, since it was still summer, fuck whatever the calendar said, but he didn’t want to seem mean so he kept his mouth shut and nodded in thanks instead.

The guy was actually kind of cute. Josh watched him for a minute, just to check if he was kidding or something and actually making fun of him with his friends, but ultimately decided he was cool. Something still wouldn’t settle in his stomach, though, and he didn’t know what it was.

The guy didn’t stand up in his seat or yell or curse or make incredibly rude gestures at the girls sitting across from them, like the other guys on the bus; instead, he just sat and looked out the window the entire time. The sun was still hidden behind the stacks of houses they drove by, and the sky was even a bit cloudy. Josh really wished they could go back to kindergarten when they had recess every hour and a half.

About halfway through the ride, the guy pulled his phone out of his hoodie and sent some Snapchat streaks. They all had a black-and-white filter. Josh desperately wanted to make a comment on how emo that was, like he did with his friends back home, then realized that a) this place is his home now and b) not everyone has the same self-deprecating humor as Josh and his few friends back then. He also didn’t want to make a bad impression on any cute guys.

Hopefully public school was more accepting than Catholic school had been. Josh sighed, as he knew the best he could possibly hope for would be a smattering of slurs on the corner bathroom stalls in the men’s bathroom and nothing else to follow up, but even that was unlikely. He’d read shit stories about kids being beaten up, bullied, etc. and knew that Ohio’s public schools weren’t exactly models for LGBTQ+ acceptance.

The bus stopped before Josh’s school, and the guy next to him began to grab his backpack and rise from his seat. Josh’s heart sunk a little as he realized they weren’t going to the same school—no further contact with him. That sucks. But maybe he’ll still get to sit with him in the mornings and back. Josh smiled a little as he moved over and thought about cute guys with hoodies and haircuts the rest of the way to his school.

~

Josh met Brendon in homeroom. He had three holes in his jeans, a Mario Kart-themed backpack, and the stunning ability to appear old enough for college while having the personality of a fourth-grader. According to the seating arrangements (bleh), Josh and Brendon were also supposed to sit next to each other. 

By the time Josh rushed to his seat and was ready to stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance, Brendon had already told the entire room and probably the hall outside that the Beatles Appreciation club is meeting Wednesdays after school from 2:10-3:00, and that everyone—no matter your grade, age, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc.—is welcome. Josh had watched as everyone either shook their head or made up some lame excuse as to why they couldn’t go; he’d also seen Brendon’s confidence as it refused to fade after he asked each person individually.

He felt bad for the guy. Josh knew what it was like to be ignored. Maybe he could convince his mom and dad that no, not all rock music was bad, and he could at least go once to make sure Brendon wasn’t lonely.

Once the announcements were done, and the teacher told everyone they can talk again, Brendon swiveled around in his seat and shot Josh the most innocent grin he had ever seen.

“Hi, I’m Brendon Urie, are you new? I didn’t see you last year.”

Josh smiled. Maybe making friends wouldn’t be so bad.

“Um, yeah, actually. Um—I’m Josh. Nice to meet you, Brendon.”

Brendon beamed. “Nice to meet you too, Josh. Now, let me ask you this: have you ever heard of the Beatles?”

Okay. This wouldn’t be so bad.

Then, later, it was actually pretty bad.

Brendon and Josh had both looked at their schedules and discovered that they shared most of their classes together. At first, Josh was sure this would be a good thing. He’s already found someone to hang out with, and he can make friends from there.

However, as the day went on, it became pretty clear that Brendon didn’t have any other friends. There wasn’t anything wrong with him—in fact, Josh thought he was actually pretty funny and nice to be around—but his various eccentricities and enthusiasm surrounding literally anything that happened throughout the day must be off-putting to some people.

Josh didn’t mind that Brendon was as interested in music as he was. From what he had heard while Brendon was whispering in the hallways and the lunchroom, he was actually a pretty good singer. Was it a bit odd that he could switch from Mariah Carey to Third Eye Blind to Frank Sinatra without batting an eye at perceived genre? Sure, but it was entertaining and Josh didn’t understand why everyone else would be so bothered by it.

But, however nice Brendon was, his high energy didn’t make up for actual people, and Josh really didn’t want to be completely alone the whole school year. His thoughts briefly drifted to the guy on the bus, and he blushed a little when he realized, but he didn’t even know the guy’s name and which school he went to and if that guy even had any friends, which is ridiculous because of course a guy as cute as that would have friends—but then Josh again realized that he was just dragging himself into a deeper pit of despair and sat up in his seat in last period English, just to see that Brendon was desperately trying to get Josh to notice him waving a note in front of his face without being caught by Mr. Hathaway.

Josh snatched the note and discreetly opened it under his desk. In purple glitter pen (of course Brendon would own a purple glitter pen), he could barely make out what was written:

_Hey, so, I wasn’t actually sure if you were coming to the club on Wednesday. I don’t always meet new people on the first day, and even then, they don’t always like the type of music I like—_

Josh paused to roll his eyes. The music Brendon listened to could hardly be classified as one single genre. But anyway.

_—but you seem really nice and I really hope you can make it! Don’t worry,_

He repressed the urge to roll his eyes again. Worrying was Josh’s only goal in life.

_I know there’ll be more kids than it seems, because I have friends at Warren High School, and they can come after school too! Anyway, you’re really cool and most kids here don’t like me (you might’ve guessed that) but I hope you can come!_

Josh smiled and sent Brendon a thumb up. Brendon smiled back. Josh felt strangely more secure knowing that he wasn’t alone in his worrying about things: clearly Brendon had his fair share of stress and loneliness.

Something else that was on his mind, though, was if Brendon knew the cute boy on the bus, and is he went to—Josh looked back at the note—Warren High School. He’d have to investigate later.

Now, things seemed pretty okay. Actually, a bit shakier than okay, but Josh had an inkling of confidence that maybe this school year wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

~

Cute guy was sitting in the same spot as this morning when Josh got on the bus home. Josh felt a little giddy seeing him again, and even happier when cute guy smiled back and let Josh sit next to him again.

Since afternoon, the sun had been shining bright above and all the clouds had disappeared. Josh thought about talking to the cute guy really hard for a really long time but decided it was better if he just waited. After all, it was just the first day.

Josh couldn’t stop thinking about him until the next morning, and everything happened again.

**Author's Note:**

> ! Brendon definitely has more friends okay ! alright folks stay tuned for the next installment of: what the fuck is my life


End file.
